How A Separation Can Affect Your Child
A separation is never easy, especially on the ends of the divorcing partners. Although other family members may also be impacted, no one would be more affected than the kids. The fact that their parents will be separating and that they will no longer have a complete family can be a hard pill to swallow at such a young age. Which is why extra care should be given to the kids to be sure that they’re coping well with your divorce from your partner. In this case, it would really help if you knew beforehand how a separation or divorce can affect your child.
4 Reasons that affects your kid after a separation
#1 Detachment
You may notice that your kids no longer want to talk to you or play video games or watch movies together like you did before. They don’t hate you, don’t worry, they’re just trying to wrap their head around the separation of two of the people they hold dear to their hearts and that can be mind-boggling for them at such a young age. Don’t force them into interacting with you, instead, ask them to join you as casually as you can and try to turn the conversation into a talk about their feelings. Be open with them, share with them your reasons and how sad you are that you couldn’t make things work. This way, they will feel more understood and would be more likely to tell you how they really feel.
#2 Failing Grades
Their grades can also be a good indicator of how well they have been taking your divorce from your partner. Although your first though may be to reprimand them for their failing classes and grades, you may need to stop and look deeper at what is causing it. Talk to them and find out the reason behind their bad grades and discuss a solution that you both can agree on. If your child refuses to co-operate, seek the help of a favorite teacher or a school counselor, they may be able to help you to help your child in a much more subtle manner.
#3 Rebellious Tendencies
It is only natural for children to act out when something does not go their way. The same applies here. When you go through a split, the new state of their separated family can take some time to settle in and as a result, you may notice a tendency to rebel, even if they have never done it before in the past. Skipping classes, hanging out with the rebel crowd, dressing differently than they usually do, those are all signs of rebellion and will eventually go away when you help them process their actual feelings. However, if their rebellion borders dangerous activities and getting involved in things they shouldn’t be involved in, then stricter measures may need to be taken.
#4 More Online Time
Kids can take a divorce pretty hard and some of them find solace in the online world, instead of talking their feelings out in the real world. If this is the case, try not to force your child into going out or carrying out the usual selection of social activities. Instead, try to spend time with them, while they are in their online world. Get them to teach you the ways of the social media or game that they’re always on. That can be a pretty good bonding tool and they may just warm up enough to talk to you about how they feel about your family’s current situation.
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Divorcing is a hard decision that affects your kids
A divorce can be difficult on all parties, especially the young ones, who are usually unsure of how to process what they may be feeling at the time. The key things to do here is to always keep the communication channels open and to remember to have as much patience as possible. Yelling or lashing out at them rarely solves the problem and if anything, may only make things way worse than it already is. Just be sure to always be there and try to help them understand and process their feelings in the best way possible so that they don’t seek other unfavorable methods to express themselves. If you suspect that your child may be befriending the wrong crowd, a simple people search would be able to tell you everything about the people your child hangs out with.
Disclaimer:
The above is intended for informational purposes only and does not constitute a legal advice or specific recommendations in any way.
